Thursday, January 14, 2010

Prozac Update

I've had a few people ask how the prozac is working on our monster dog Roxie. You can read about what prompted us to put our dog on prozac here.

We thought it was working at first, but it's not. I left the garbage can empty on the ground a few weeks ago as a test and she ate the plastic bag. Today I took Ben to gymnastics. When I got home, she had gotten into the pantry. I imagine I forgot to shut it all the way. I try to remember everything, but I'm not perfect. There I said it!

Minutes before walking out the door, my mind spins...shut all the doors, put up the garbage can and recycle bin, start the dishwasher, where are my keys, Noah hasn't pooped in a few days grab the diaper bag, Ben needs water, I need water, grab Ben a snack for after gymnastics, get Noah a bottle just in case (growth spurt), I forgot to eat, get a graham cracker, take Roxie out to pee, get Ben to pee, I need to pee, grab an extra outfit for Noah just in case (it has been a few days), where are my keys, my sunglasses, my grocery list, do we have a jalapeno for chili or not, take out turkey for the chili (I forgot), grab Ben's birthday invites so I can make them out during gymnastics, oh and the good pen, get our coats on, get the freezer bag for the cold stuff from the store (since we were going before gymanstics), can we make it to the store first, where are my you see how I could forget to make sure the pantry door wasn't cracked 1/8 of an inch? By the way, we were 1 minute early to gymnastics and that was after our quick trip to the grocery store with the slowest cashier in history.

In the 110 minutes that we were gone, she ate 8 pop tarts, a full bag of marshmallows, 2/3 of a bag of pretzels, a bag of saltine oyster crackers, half loaf of wheat bread, 3 packs of oatmeal to go bars, God knows how many granola bars... She must have just gotten into the cheerios and cheese balls when I got home. Can I repeat that, she ALMOST ate my cheese balls! She's lucky she's still alive. All this produced well, a nice pile of you know what on my carpet.

So, here I am walking in the door after jamming out happily to Miley Cyrus' Party In The U.S.A. totally unaware of what was waiting for me. No judgement, it's a fun song. Listen to it and I bet you'll be nodding your head like yeah...

I called David in desperation.

A month ago, he was driving to Flagstaff for a meeting with some co-workers. It's a 90 minute drive and he starts in with "my dog is on prozac". It's always a good conversation starter. One of the ladies says she would take Roxie if we can't keep her anymore.

The baby is screaming and needs to eat. Ben needs to eat. I need to eat. I'm cleaning up crap and I'm pleading with David to e-mail this girl (she works in a different office) and find out if she is serious. That or we need to double her dose of prozac. Or buy a box of rat poisining. Okay, I'm kidding. I could never hurt an animal. But, if I left it out and she got into it... Again, just kidding. I think.

My wonderful husband came home on his lunch break to help me with the mess. He steam cleaned the carpets which had marshmallows stuck in them. Surprisingly, it came up rather easy. He vacuumed up the crumbs and returned to work. He's a good man.

So, I'm hoping this lady will take her.

For now, I'm going to go listen to Miley Cyrus and try to forget about my afternoon.


amyraye said...

did you change your layout. if so, i like it. if not, never mind.

your mind out loud sounds like my mind out loud. and i'm sorry. crazy, crazy things bombaring me one right after the other.

anyway, i'm sorry about your dog. and about your day.

but thank you for a good laugh. :)

pam said...

Oh, friend. I can't think of anything to say except, sorry. That really sucks.

Linda said...

It's beyond time - Roxie needs to go one way or another. You tried more than most people ever would have (including me). ♥

Anonymous said...

Well I guess you found your keys, and here I thought for sure you were going to find them somewhere totally unexpected, like in a pile of doggy doo ....