Big Boy

Look whose in a big boy bed! This means lots of good things, mainly that Noah is able to maintain his own body temperature. One of the hurdles before going home -- check! This also means that he may actually use calories to keep himself warm so sometimes the weight gain will slow down a bit.

As of yesterday though, our boy topped the scales at 4 pounds 1 ounce. He's almost a heavy weight now. We did have one little set back. Right now, they are feeding him his formula/breastmilk and they set the timer for the feed to take 90 minutes. They need to get him down to 30 as when he starts with a bottle that's how long it will take him to drink it. They tried to go to 75 minutes yesterday and he puked all over himself. So, he's back to 90 for another day or so. They also said that they will start the bottle with just a tiny amount and still do 90% of the feed through the tube. I'm excited to actually try to put a bottle in his mouth and see what he does.



Now that our boy is out of the incubator and real light can shine on him, I've noticed that he has those bluish-gray newborn eyes. Emily and Ben were born with dark brown. There was no question what color eyes they were going to have. I'm sure they will darken up and turn brown later, but it would be interesting to have one blue eyed kid.

They've also started to expose Ben (ok, upon editing, I noticed I put the wrong name here. This has happened often and I suspect I will do it for the rest of their lives) to "cycled lighting". Light during the day and dark at night. It's so nice to be in our own room and be able to really do this. Up until now, they try to keep it as dark as possible to mimic the womb, but now they want him to get used to his days and nights. I like that!

I'm off to see the little man and get some cuddle time in. He truly is just a precious little gift.

Plenty of P's

Thanks to our good friends in Prescott, I have a laptop to use. I'm at the Safeway using their WIFI. Thanks also to Pam, who loaned me her card reader so I can upload some photos. I always knew we had wonderful friends and family, but I'm overwhelmed by all the love and support.

Pity Party
I still struggle daily and allow myself a little pity party. I still feel sadness that this didn't go the way I planned and Lord knows I'm a planner. I'm upset that David nor myself got to see our son born and a nurse had to tell us that he cried when they pulled him out. I feel bad for Noah who had to start his life too early with a struggle already ahead of him because I got sick. The funny thing is I rarely get sick. Maybe I was just saving it all up for the big ol' life threatening illness. Thank God it's gone. I miss Emily, Ben and David terribly. I'm now able to talk about it without tearing up (although I am now), but I can't make it through their nightly prayers and goodnights without crying a little. What Mom wants to kiss their kids goodnight over the phone? It was wonderful having them here this weekend. I had one heart wrenching moment when Emily called me Granny. My kids have never mistaken me for anyone because I was always there. I know it was an innocent mistake, but it still tore at me.

Positive Perspective.
I try to stay positive. I have a healthy baby who needs to gain some weight. I didn't die. These are all good things. Emily and Ben are being well taken care of by my Mom and David. We will all be together soon enough. Actually, within an hour of being with the kids, I thought to myself, "Are they always this loud?" A week of peace and quiet made me realize just how hyper a 3 and 4 year old are. I'm going to use this time to relax and take care of Noah. I know the chaos will be there to greet me soon enough. Also, being in the hospital with so many sick kids and staying at the Ronald McDonald House where every parent has a sick child, makes me incredibly grateful. My kid isn't sick at all, just skinny. I'm incredibly fortunate and blessed and I always need to remember that.

Pressure.
I took my blood pressure at Walmart yesterday and it was 119 over 79. Yea! Last week it was in the 160's over 100's. I'm back to my normal old self.

Progress.
Noah is doing wonderful. He got taken off the IV yesterday. He kept pulling it out, so it went from his arm to his foot to his head. Ugh...the head. But, it was the best place for him. He now only has his feeding tube down his nose. He's back up to his birth weight. He's almost able to maintain his body temperature. Yesterday they had him in a t-shirt for the first time. They keep turning down the heat on his incubator and say he will probably be in a crib by the end of the week. They will also start trying to bottle feed him Thursday or Friday when he is starting 34 weeks. That will be our last hurdle to master. Once he can eat on his own and gain weight, we can go home. Nobody will give you a date as every baby is different, but the nurse yesterday said with a wink, "You'll be out of here in 2 weeks sweetie." Wouldn't that be nice? I'm not getting my hopes up, but it does look like it's a realistic goal.

Place.
The NICU that Noah is in is brand new and very nice. It's a far cry from the football field of incubators that we are all used to. We have our own room with a sofa that can be used for a bed and a big comfy chair. We can stay there all night if we want to. There is also a curtain I can close while I pump. It's so nice to have that privacy.


Pumping.
I'm trying so hard to get my milk to come in. I didn't pump for 4 days after Noah was born due to the magnesium and all the IV's. I'm really trying to make up for it now. I'm slowly, very slowly increasing and he was able to get a full feed yesterday of my breast milk (it took me the entire day to make that much). The nurse also put a little in his mouth with a syringe while he was sucking his pacifier. His first taste of anything. And boy did he seem to enjoy that. I'm going to continue to work getting my milk in as with RSV and swine flu and everything else out there, my little preemie needs all the help with his immune as he can get.

Pictures.
This is from last Friday...7 days old






These last two were taken yesterday...10 days old while I was holding him.





Peace.
Overall, I've made peace with what has happened. Yes, it wasn't my plan. Yes, it sucks to be away from the rest of my family. But, I trust that I'm exactly where I am meant to be right now. The next few weeks will fly by and we will all be together again. I'm already planning it...

Air Evac, C-section and Baby...Oh my!

It's been a hell of a week. I know most of you have been able to keep in the loop but here is a brief rundown.

Last Thursday Aug 6, I wasn't feel good...again. We went to Emily's open house as she started Kindergarten this week. After, we went home and I laid down, but was not getting relief. My stomach just felt like a rock, my back hurt, I thought I might throw up. I thought I was in pre-term labor again. We went to the hospital. In about one hour, I'm told I'm getting Air-Evac'd to Phoenix. What? I kiss the kids and David good bye and I'm sitting there in complete shock.

This isn't how it's supposed to happen. We've had two text book pregnancies. What's going on with me? I hear the words pre-eclampsia which is swelling with high blood pressure and too much protein in my kidneys. But, now they are saying HELPP syndrome also which is a failing liver and low blood platelets which means I won't clot. I'm immediately injected with magnesium to reduce my risk of seizure. What? It's a whirlwind really.

Meanwhile, David calls my Mom who is coming up from Phoenix to be with the kids. And I'm in my second helicopter ride...much different experience from the green hills and waterfalls of Maui. I've never prayed so hard in my entire life.

I don't remember much of Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday. I was still on the magnesium which makes you feel flu like. They were trying to keep Noah in until Saturday to give him two doses of steroids to improve his lungs. We made it until 1:44 Saturday afternoon. That's when an emergency c-section was performed. I had to be completely put under due to the fact that my blood platelets were so low that I wasn't clotting. The risk of an epidural gone wrong was too much for us...coma, paralysis, mri...no thanks.

So, my son was born and I don't remember. In fact, I couldn't even think about him or Emily and Ben for days. I was sick. Really, really sick. The good news was that both of the conditions that I had disappear upon delivery or within 48 hours. Mine was the latter and it was a long couple of days. We thought we had turned a corner and David went home to Prescott on Sunday to get Emily ready for school. As it turned out, that corner was really another 48 hours away, but I was glad that David could be with Emily on her first day. I was also terribly upset that I missed it. I wanted to pack her lunch and fix her hair and help her pick out the perfect dress. I missed all of it.

The rest of the week has been slow and long. My blood work has been slowly reaching normal levels. I still feel week and the c-section on top of what I've been through has taken a toll. I got released from the hospital yesterday and I'm now staying at the Ronald McDonald House a mile from the hospital. A very nice place that asks only a donation. I will stay here until Noah is allowed to go home. We have friends and family here, but I want to be as close to my little man as possible.

Speaking of the little guy, he is doing really well. He's small (3lbs 14 oz), but he's totally healthy. He has no real issues other than the fact that he needs to gain some weight and learn to suck and swallow which usually comes at about 34 weeks. He's 33. So, the next week, should be full of adventures. He's adorable and sweet and so beautiful.

David and the kids are coming up tonight and I'm so excited. I miss them so much that my heart literally feels like it's breaking.

I just want to thank all of our friends and family. We felt so blessed to know that so many people were thinking about us and praying with us. The love and support is just overwhelming. Thank you!

I'm off to catch the shuttle to the hospital. Please, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I'll keep everyone updated as the weeks go on.

At Least I'm Not a Wimp

Today didn't go quite as I had planned. I felt like I was going to puke last night and could only keep down an english muffin and apple. I was up during the night with my usual back pain and stomach cramping which I've had for about 3 weeks. Then this morning, the puking started again. I couldn't take a sip of water without it coming back up.

I laid on the sofa armed with a box of Cherrios and 2 bowls. This would be breakfast for my kids today. I couldn't even get them milk. After puking 2 or 3 more times I knew I needed to call in help. David promised to be home from work in 30 minutes. He figured he could work from home and throw some deli meat on a plate for lunch while they watched a Spongebob marathon. I would be in the bedroom sleeping. That was the plan.

I called my Dr. This puking business along with the pain has happened 3 times over the last few weeks. I know what labor feels like and it feels like a mini labor. I was worried about dehydration, swine flu and labor. They advise me to go to the hospital for some tests. She's thinking it may be a bladder infection or dehydration.

We load up the kids and head to the OB triage. In the past, these episodes last 5-10 hours and then I feel like a champ. So, I'm thinking this will pass before we even get there. We get in the curtained "room" and the kids are already going wild. David takes them across the street to Walmart. We know how this goes as we went once with Emily. It's wait and then wait and then when you think you are ready to go, you wait some more.

My lovely nurse Laura hooks me up to the fetal monitors and immediately tells me I'm contracting. Oh, so that's what all those pains are about. They are 4 minutes apart. I'm in pre-term labor. She gets a shot of something to stop it and shoots it in my arm. It worked for now. They ran a bunch of other tests...dehydration, pre-eclampsia, FFN or something that shows if I may go into labor in the next 2 weeks. Luckily, everything came back negative. I'm also only dialted to barely a 1, so it's good that's it's not farther than that.

I'm supposed to go back if I have any more cramping and pains, but um, I have them like every 12 hours. They go away. I can't just come in for a shot twice a day for the next 4 weeks. I have a Dr. appointment on Friday where I may get put on medicine daily to stop the contractions. If they keep happening over the next few days, I'm hoping that will happen.

The alternative is getting air-evacted to Phoenix as they don't have a NICU for babies here. That would mean a lot of things that I don't even want to think about right now.

At least I know what's been going on for the last 3 weeks. I truly thought that at 35 I was just too old for this and my body couldn't handle it.

It was frightening being in there and overhearing 2 other woman who were 31 weeks who were getting C-sections and air-evacted to Phoenix. I felt for them. I also took comfort in knowing that one of my blogger friends had her baby at 32 weeks and after a month in the NICU, he's home and doing well.

So we are at 32 weeks, please say a prayer, think positive thoughts, rub the buddah belly or do whatever it is you can that Noah will chill out in there for the next 4 weeks at least.

Baby Brunch

On Saturday, Stacy and Dakri hosted a baby brunch for Noah. I certainly wasn't expecting a shower for my third child, but I'm happy to have something to go under the "gifts I received at my shower" section of his baby book.

My Mom drove up for the brunch and stayed for several days. This is her best friend, my Aunt Cathy, they've been best friends since they were 6. One of her daughters, Denise (on the sofa), lives up here too, so they were both there. Denise and I are the same age and have been close our entire lives. It's nice to get to share this pregnancy with family too (or the closest thing you can get to it).


Stacy and Dakri put on such a lovely party. It was truly adorable and I felt special. Check out these cakes Stacy made. She is seriously talented.



It was a wonderful morning and I'm so thankful to have made such great friends.

A Jump On Fall

Our garden is a mess this year. We planted about a dozen different veggies, but not much grew except the pumpkins which we did not plant. They are choking everything else out. I should've listened to my husband and killed them when they were small, but I just hate doing that unless it's a spider or insect of some sort. I've learned my lesson. Did you hear that sweetie? I'm saying, "I was wrong. You were right." Those are words he doesn't hear often. :o)

We are no longer composting pumpkin as it just doesn't break down well enough. Next year, I will plant 2 pumpkin seeds or I will head to the pumpkin patch. For now, we are the pumpkin patch. This is just the start.

We are still getting some zucchini and tomatoes. Of course, neither are in places where I actually planted the seeds. Oh well, in this Italian pasta eating house, we can always use tomatoes for sauce, but the kids seem to gobble them up before they even make it inside.

I'm sad for all the seeds I planted that never got to fulfill their seed destiny due to bossy pumpkins. There is always next year...

Accomplishments

We've had several big and small accomplishments this week.

The first being that I slept through the night with no aches or pains for the first time in a month! I'm retaining enough water with this baby that I could make a camel jealous. Which is causing back pain, leg pain and carpal tunnel which radiates up my arm and to my shoulder. I'm realizing why women used to be done having kids by 35. I'm too old for this. In any case, I only got up 10 times last night to go to the bathroom and I feel fantastic today.

Ben learned how to eat a cherry and spit the pit out. Up until now, I either had to bite off half a cherry and give him the part with no pit or he simply ate the entire thing. He has about 50 cherry trees growing in his belly. Whenever he spits a pit out he raises his fist in triumph and yells, "I did it!"

When one learns to spit the other learns to swallow...

Emily learned how to swallow her allergy pill. Poor girl is always a little stuffy. Instead of spending 5 times the amount and getting half the doses for the children's version of claritin, I just bought the adult Costco generic and split the pills. She's been chewing them with her vitamin. But this week, she gave swallowing it a go and after 3 tries, she got it. She was so excited the first time that she ran to me and gave me a high five.

Emily is making huge strides in swimming lately. I took the kids to the pool one day this week and she learned how to dive down (in the 3 foot section) and pick up one of the diving rings. She will do this over and over. I was so proud of her. We had to go back to the pool right after dinner to show David her new trick. She is also swimming a good 20-30 feet with no problem and starting to incorporate a bit of a breast stroke with her arms. She's doing really really well and does not want to wear her floaties at all.

Ben on the other hand almost drowned the other day. How is this an accomplishment? Well, we all went to the pool and Emily headed for the stairs. She hangs out there or in the 3 foot section until we get in. Then, Ben went running in that direction. David was getting undressed (well just his shirt, it's not THAT kind of pool) and I was getting the essentials out of the bag (goggles, diving rings, Ben's floaties). Ben's floaties. I look up and he's on the second step as the words are leaving my lips that he needs his floaties, he's leaping into the water. David jumps in immediately and is swimming to him across the pool. Emily is watching as he's in a little too deep for her to become a lifeguard. And Ben is almost drowning? No, he's actually treading water, keeping his head up and holding his breath when he'd dip down. He obviously wouldn't have been able to do this for minutes, but for the 15 seconds it took to get to him, he was doing great. Luckily, a nice man who we see often at the pool was in a lounge chair right there and got to him seconds before David. Ben didn't even cough or choke. He hadn't swallowed any water. He was just a little scared. He got out and came over to me to get his floaties on. All he had to say about the experience was, "Tat was welly deep." I on the other hand was almost in cardiac arrest. But, I'm proud of him for being able to stay up and use some of the skills he has learned in swim lessons instead of sinking to the bottom. It's just a reminder of how quickly accidents can happen.

I'm also able to hold 2 wretches of Ben's throw up in my very own hands. When he was done, he looked at me with those eyes and said, "I throwed up." Ya think?!

We decided on a baby name. Noah Gregory.

Oh, and the best thing, David learned how to make fantastic chicken wings courtesy of The Neely's on the Food Network. Thank you Pat and Gina!