Shhhh...It's a Secret

When my Dad sold the Texaco 4 years ago, I was unemployed for the first time since I was 13. I was officially a stay at home Mom with a very cranky 4 month old. I felt a little lost. I was reading one of my Parenting magazine trying to figure out how to calm my fussy baby in 3 magical steps, which never worked by the way, when I came across an article on Secret Shoppers.

Now, I know all about secret shoppers. Owning, managing and working at Dunkin' Donuts, Texaco and Cousins' Subs for 20 years had taught me plenty. I had read hundreds of evaluations, several which were done on me. I thought I could do this. So, I went online and applied at the few reputable sites listed. Nothing that required money paid by me to be a member. The most it took was a 20-30 minute questionnaire about myself and I was an official mystery shopper.

I'd check occasionally on what was available. Hmmm...Cheesecake Factory (one of the busies restaurants in town) at the bar between 5:00 and 6:30. Yeah sure, let me just tote my newborn to a bar! There were always some for car dealerships. Nobody ever took these. They couldn't pay me enough to test drive a car and apparently, everyone else felt the same way. Then, I'd see the cosmetic counter in Scottsdale, a city 45 minutes away, one-way. No thanks, I'll stick with Cover Girl. Nothing ever worked for me. Eventually I stopped looking, had another baby and moved twice.

I switched my zip code, so I could see new assignments when I moved to Prescott. Pickings were even slimmer up here. There were still the car dealership offers which still nobody would take. I'd rather put needles in my eye than walk onto one of those places.

And then...

A mystery shop on a veterinarian. This could work. After putting Forest down, we knew that we didn't want to go back to the same vet. Here was an offer for up to $100 in treatment reimbursed plus $25 for doing the report. Rocko was due for his annual exam and vaccinations. On our tight budget, this could be $100 in our pocket instead of out of it.

The vet was fantastic. I now have to log on and write the glowing review in the next 24 hours. There was only one major problem.

I had David put the kennel in the back of the van. Our only experience with Rocko in the car was when we brought him home. He wanted to climb up on the seats and on Ben and I didn't want to be distracted by that while I drove. Rocko went willingly into the kennel on the way there and home. About 2 minutes into the drive home I hear a wretch. Was that what I think it was? Then, the pregnancy nose kicks in and I smell right away that the contents of his breakfast is now in the kennel as well.

Why oh why can't my husband be home when this happens? After 30 minutes of sitting in his own vomit, it was everywhere. David put a blanket in there for comfort, it was a giant puke pad. So nasty. Not to mention, when he jumped out of the kennel he splattered puke all over my pants and jacket. I literally stripped down in my garage and threw everything in the washing machine. I've yet to check it. I'm scared.

Rocko has been banished to the backyard until I can muster up the energy to give him a bath. It's freezing outside, so this will probably mean that I will get to scour my tub thoroughly later tonight as well. Will it ever end?

And the answer is no...

On the way home from preschool, Ben fell at the farmer's market and literally ate the asphalt. That took almost 10 minutes to clean up and get him to calm down.

We dropped off our carpool buddy and I told the kids to stay buckled. This never happens. They walk all around the car while us Mom's chit chat for 10 minutes. I can't help it. This is sometimes the only adult I will talk to for 10 hours at a time.

We were leaving their house and I reprimanded the kids. I told them Mommy has had all she can take today and we are going home and they are going to listen and behave.

It was quiet for a few seconds. They knew I was at my wits end.

And then Emily so sweetly said, "Mommy, you're beautiful."

And for the first time today, I had to laugh.