A Sad Goodbye

We put Rocko down yesterday. It was so hard and a decision we knew was coming for probably a year. It's such a tough choice to make and know when the right time is. Physically, he was still okay. Sure, his walks had gone from 40 minutes to 20 in the past 6 months. He would've preferred 10, as he was usually lagging behind us all the way home, but, he kept up.

With Rocko, it was all mental. We knew he was scared to death of thunderstorms. He's been that way for 10 years, but it had started to take on a whole new form. He was scared of everything, lighting, thunder, dark, light, wind, steps, grates in the road, the garbage truck, it goes on and on. We'd sometimes sleep at night with the TV on and eye masks on as he would start panting and shaking when we'd turn the TV off. Most nights, David slept in the other room with Rocko tied to the bed. He was destructive when he'd get scared and you couldn't do anything. He's tore up a table cloth, comforter, drape, screen doors. He "rakes" the carpet and puts holes in window screens. He scratches at doors, dig holes if outside, it goes on and on.

We've manage to deal with it and didn't feel like he was ready to be put down. But, over the past few weeks, he'd spend all of his awake hours like this...staring at a corner and panting. It's really very sad to watch him shake for hours for no reason what so ever. We tried every medicine out there from herbal stuff to prozak and nothing worked. Inevitably, after hours of panting, he'd drink a bowl of water, then vomit several times. It was all just going downhill.

 

 Anyway, all that to say, after a few awful nights with him, we decided it was time. This was his last photo. David went in with him and he said it was all very peaceful and calm. The kids were a mess. We all were. Emily wanted to do one last day of all the things he loves, but it's just so hard to drag it out once you've decided. Plus, if he had a good night, then, we would've waited for more bad nights, which would've surely come. It would emotionally draining to put us all through that. It was more bad moments for him than good at the end. If he was awake, he was scared. Ultimately, that was the deciding factor.

 

  

David brought home his collar and leash and Prim was Rocko's biggest fan. She loved to cuddle with him. Today she climbed up on the table and snuggled into his collar. It was the sweetest and saddest moment ever. 

We will always remember him as the sweetest dog ever who loved to play fetch and go for a walk. He had the softest pillowy ears and once you started petting him, he'd always reach out his paw for more.

We will miss you sweet boy.