My best friend Pam's boss use to say that...Man Plans, God Laughs. I always thought it was amusing and true really.
I wrote my last blog post all about my plans for the future. I was looking 6 months out and thinking of all that I can and will do with my life when all three of my kids are in school full time. I wasn't just planning. I was dreaming.
My monthly cycle is very regular. 28 days, give or take 1 or 2. Friday came and went...Saturday...Sunday....Monday....by Tuesday, I was starting to panic. David had a vasectomy right after Noah was born. The first day that I was home from the hospital, I made David that appointment. Then, I took him to the surgery a few weeks later. But, we never took in a follow up sample. How could this be? David looked it up 1 in 2,000 chance. Well, that's a little low for my comfort level. I figured this would be the one time we'd be the lucky 1.
Last night, I was a wreck. I couldn't sleep. I told David for sure it would be here Wednesday morning, 5 days late. The only time I've been 5 days late, I was pregnant. I woke up early this morning. Nothing. I hugged David and started to cry. Not happy tears either. This couldn't be. I don't want to start over with diapers and formula. Neither did David. He said maybe it was twins? Really, not seeing the humor here. I was completely and utterly depressed at the thought. I knew that if we were pregnant, then it was meant to be. It may not have been my plan, but it was Gods. I'd take the next 6 years and share the whipped cream on my frappuccino and put my plans on hold. Even more though, I was worried if I'd live through another pregnancy. Would a baby? The statistics aren't great, and when I read about preeclampsia mixed with HELLP syndrome, it's a miracle that Noah and I walked away unscathed.
Then, I went to the bathroom this evening. I've never been so happy to see blood in all my life.